


None Other

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Drama, First Times, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 02:47:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair not-so-patiently waits for Jim's heart to open to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	None Other

**Author's Note:**

> Previously published in Love and Guns 3 

## None Other

by J M Griffin

Author's disclaimer: Jim and Blair do not belong to me. Wish they did. 

* * *

None Other   
By J. M. Griffin 

I have learned to cry without making a sound. I wonder sometimes what he hears up there in his bed at night. My rapid pulse. My labored breathing? Maybe. But I will not utter a sob where his damn Sentinel ears can hear. 

I heard them come in last night. He tries to be so careful, so discreet. But I'm his roommate, for pity's sake. And despite the new wooden doors he had put on my room, I can hear what goes on up there in his bedroom. A soft masculine voice, his shush, and later, the sounds of sex -- a smothered laugh, the bed creaking in a steady rhythm, strangled cries of completion. 

I dream one day he'll turn to me, someone who wants him, loves him fiercely. But Jim doesn't want love. It's like he's scared of it really, of any strong emotion. He just wants to fuck. 

So like a fool, I lie here in the dark and choke back sobs. But I wonder sometimes who's the bigger fool. 

I've never even made love to a man. I dream about it, though. Dream of Jim holding me, caressing me. Then the caresses turn into something more and before I know it, I'm coming in his hot mouth. 

There's this guy at the U, he's an English teacher, but one of those big, super - masculine jock types. Ah hell, a who am I kidding here? A Jim Ellison type. Anyway, this guy (his name's Aaron Gates) keeps eyeing me. I have half a mind to confront him. Which is, like, so fucking weird because I can't even begin to think of confronting Jim. But with this guy it would only be sex. Just a trial run, you know? To see if it's really all it's cracked up to be with another man. 

With Jim, it'd be love. 

I really am a fool. It's like he's in this high tower and I sit outside, baying at the closed doors of his resistance. Hell, for all his Sentinel abilities, he can't hear me, he can't even see me. And as long as I'm just neo-hippy, kid Blair, he's safe, right? He can laugh me off and discount me. And not really see me at all. 

So anyway, Aaron showed up at my office this afternoon. When I opened the door, I had this fleeting impression it was Jim. 

Oh, the subtleties of discourse! Gates said, "Blair, Let me take you out for a beer." As I sort of stumbled back from my door, he laughed. 

"Sandburg," Aaron said, reaching out as I hemmed and hawed. "It's just an invitation to grab a beer." 

But we both knew it wasn't. At my nod, he stepped into my office and closed the door behind him. He's taller than me (of course,) almost as tall as Jim. Reaching out once again, he brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. 

A sigh caught in my throat and I closed my eyes. Big mistake, because in my mind's eye I saw Jim Ellison standing before me and my body responded. I melted against Aaron, face turned up, ready to be kissed. He obliged. That kiss - it was sweet and bitter, harsh and soft, all at the same time. Everything I imagined and more. My mind flipped into scientific mode as I catalogued the different feel of a male mouth. Bigger, firmer, and, I thought as I continued to explore with my tongue, deeper. 

He pulled me close and I tried to put Jim from my mind. Pressed up against the flat planes of Aaron's chest, my cock grew erect. It was all I could do not to wail Jim's name. 

Aaron trailed kisses down my neck and chest (how had my shirt come open?) finally latching on to my nipple ring. A tiny tug drew a deep gasp out of me. 

Oh god, Jim, Jim, I thought. 

Then Aaron's hands were at my fly and I bucked eagerly against him. Months of want and need made me senseless and I gasped again as his mouth engulfed me. My hands were resting on his shoulders as he knelt in front of me and I ran one hand through his hair. It was soft and wavy, not the bristly, velvet stubble I ached to feel. I groaned and he took it as pleasure and sucked harder. 

My mind reeled. I wanted this, wanted it so damn bad, but not from this man. 

"Aaron, Aaron, stop." I somehow managed to get out. He was back kissing me then. His hands, never still, stroked me even as he spoke. 

"Do you mean it Blair? Because I will if you mean it." 

His erection pressed against me. I sighed. 

He was real, in the here and now, and Jim Ellison was a million miles away. 

I took a deep breath. "Yes... no." I said. 

Aaron chuckled, drawing away a bit, but still touching. "So, which is it, babe?" 

Oh man, I didn't know; I just wasn't sure. I stood there with my mouth open, unable to utter a coherent word. 

Aaron eyed me closely and then stepped back. "You've never made it with a man, have you, Blair?" he asked gently. 

I shook my head no. 

"And I'm not the right man, am I, sweetheart?" His voice was soft, tender even, making my heart ache. 

Aaron stepped in close once more, but only to begin buttoning my shirt back up. He gave me a quick kiss and a lingering smile. 

"Hope he's worth the wait, darling." He said and he was out the door. 

I sank to my knees, feeling tears streak down my cheeks, moaning a little. Whether from self pity, despair or need, I wasn't sure. I still had a raging hard-on. So I grasped my cock and brought myself off in a few quick strokes. Semen splattered down my hand and onto the floor. 

With an angry sigh, I grabbed tissues and cleaned myself off. As I did I glanced at the clock. It was 6:35. Shit! Way later than I expected. Jim was supposed to be picking me up at 6:45. If I didn't hurry, he'd be at my door demanding an explanation for my tardiness. I grabbed my laptop and papers and hauled ass out of there. 

The second I got in the truck, Jim's nose twitched and I realized it had been a big mistake not to stop and wash up. Ellison got this funny look on his face. 

"You okay, Sandburg?" he asked by way of greeting. 

I scrubbed at my face, trying to annihilate tear tracks, swearing to myself all the while. 

"Yeah, I'm okay." Maybe he hadn't noticed. Maybe he was just twitchy today, I thought slightly hysterically. Who was I kidding? If he'd wanted, his Sentinel nose could have picked up the odor of cum all the way in the building. 

Jim just sat back in the seat looking at me. It was a very unsettling look - puzzled and perturbed. All of a sudden I realized there was a glint of tears in his eyes. 

I stared at him, caught by his gaze, unable to believe what I was seeing. 

"With a man, Blair?" He said softly. 

My mouth fell open. I mean, I was shocked down to my toes. A million thoughts flooded my brain. A million questions. First and foremost was "What the hell does he care who I fuck?' Then it coalesced into: "He _cares_ who I fuck?" 

I couldn't formulate an answer to save my life. 

Jim looked away finally and leaned his head back on the neck rest. I saw a stray tear leak down his cheek and onto his shirt collar. 

I was stunned, to say the least. 

"Jim, Jim," I finally got out. I angled my body toward him, reached out to touch him and saw my hand was trembling. I almost drew it back, but I couldn't. I had to know. 

"Jim," I said again, touching him hesitantly on the arm. 

He took one sobbing breath, then swallowed and turned away. "Let's go home, Sandburg," he ground out between clenched teeth and threw the Expedition into drive. 

I buckled my seat belt fast, knowing it would be a hair-raising ride. 

It was, but it hardly registered with me. I had retreated into my own head space and was trying furiously to figure it all out. Everything was happening way too fast. Still, by the time we whizzed into the parking garage at the loft, I knew one thing. I had to tell Jim how I felt about him. For good or ill, he needed to know. Besides, I was going to go crazy if I didn't get it out. I was through crying in the dark. 

As we got out of the Expedition, I stole a look at Jim. The impassive mask was back. He could even make eye-contact without so much as a blink. I had to practically run to keep up with him on the way to the loft, he was moving that fast. 

Unlocking the door, Jim threw his keys in the basket with such force it shook the stand. Without a pause, he marched over to the stairs. 

"Jim, wait." I called out. 

"Forget it, Sandburg," he growled, one hand already on the railing. 

I practically flew over to him. Grabbing his coat lapels, I got in his face. 

"Jim, it's not what you think." I cried. I had no idea what he thought, but I had such a cold, desperate feeling I would have said anything to get his attention. 

"What do I think, Sandburg?" His voice was flat and he glared down at my fists knotted in his coat front. 

I released my grasp on his lapels and saw my hands were trembling again. Hell, I was trembling all over. Turning away, sobs welled up inside me, escaping in a strangled noise I barely recognized as coming from me. I was gonna run; I had to get away. I couldn't face this. But no, I _had_ to see it though. No matter how scared I was. No matter how foolish I felt. 

So I turned back toward Jim in time to see him brush at his face. Man, what were we doing to each other? What were we playing at here? 

I put my hand out. 

"Jim, I..." I didn't get to finish because he swooped down and caught my face between his two big hands and kissed me for all I was worth. My knees threatened to buckle and I threw my arms around him to keep from collapsing. It was as if a lightning strike ripped through me - I was tingling all over, energized, buoyant, and heady with lust and love. Jim must have felt it too because he staggered back, releasing my face only to circle his arms around me. Crushing me to him, he sank down to sit on the stairs. Cradled against his broad chest, I kissed him back. 

Kissing Aaron had felt odd. Kissing Jim was like coming home. I slid my tongue in his mouth, probing and questing - taking inventory of each surface, soft and hard, rough and smooth, until my mind shut down and I simply _felt._ We finally had to come up for air and I gasped as we parted lost, bereft. 

Jim had a soft grin on his face. "God, you taste good, Chief." 

I couldn't find any words and he saw this and chuckled. "Now I know one sure-fire way to shut you up." He buried his face in my hair and inhaled deeply, then sighed. 

"I love you, Blair." It was as if it just slipped out; he didn't really mean to say the words aloud. His body withdrew from mine infinitesimally and I knew he was waiting for my reaction. 

But I couldn't breathe, much less speak. Could it really be this easy? After all the angst and wanting and waiting, he just up and says "I love you," no big deal? Hysterical laughter threatened to bubble up, so I kept my mouth clamped shut and just looked up into his eyes.... And saw there everything I had always longed to see. Maybe it had been there all along and I just missed it. Maybe something had happened to change it all for him, too. But now was not the time to ask questions. I swallowed hard and finally spoke. 

"I love you with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life," I told him. Not very original, but it said it all. 

Jim claimed my mouth again and it was as if he claimed my soul. I clung to him and we sat there holding on to each other and kissing until Jim groaned. In unspoken accord, we untangled and made our way up the stairs to his big bed. 

Jim flopped down on it and seeing me standing, hesitant, at the side, he took my hand and pulled me down beside him. We stayed still for a time, just holding each other. Then Jim gave a small sigh of contentment. 

"From this day on," he said very, very softly, but quite clearly, "there will be none other." And then he started kissing me again. 

But kissing was no longer enough. I began a trail of licks and nips down neck to his chest, removing his shirt on my way. I gave close attention to his lean, flat stomach. When my tongue dipped into his navel, he gasped. I worked on down, loosening his pants. Before long they were completely off and he urged me to add mine to the growing pile of clothing on the floor. 

I took his erection in my mouth eagerly. I had never done this to another man before, but I knew what I liked so I tried it out on him. I was awarded for my effort by his gasps of pleasure and I got really bold, bringing him to the brink of orgasm twice before I let him come. His incoherent cries were sweet to my ears. The acrid taste of him burned my throat. But he pulled me up and licked at my lips and I didn't mind. 

And then, _then_ I got what I wanted. His mouth moved first to my nipples. How did he know what I loved? He sucked my fingers, exquisite torture, then moved to my groin. His wet, warm mouth on my cock sent me over the edge in no time and I came with an inarticulate cry. 

"Blair, Blair," Jim whispered into the aftermath. I looked at him. "Blair..." he said again, but nothing else. He stroked my hair and face, then cleared his throat. "God, I was so jealous; I couldn't stand it." 

I blinked at him in surprise. I don't know what I expected, but this wasn't it. 

"I..., I could smell it. His scent on you, I mean." Jim gave a rueful shrug. "In all the time you've lived here with me, I never caught the scent of another man on you. Women, yes, but I could live with that." His hands shook slightly as he continued to stroke my hair. 

I caught one of those big capable hands and brought it to my lips. "It was you I wanted," I said slowly, "the entire time I was with him. And I didn't..., we didn't...," It was my turn to be hesitant now. 

"You came. I smelled your cum." He blurted out, then looked away, a troubled frown on his face. 

Releasing his hand, I smoothed his forehead with my fingertips. "That was _after_ he left. And with _you_ in my mind the whole time." I assured him. 

"Hell," Jim growled fiercely, startling me. "I know I shouldn't care who you fuck, but god, Blair, I have to tell you. I do. I do care. I love you, Chief. I've loved you since day one." 

His word ran through me like delicious nectar, filling me to the brim with love for him. I wrapped my arms around him, tucked my head against his chest where I could hear his heart beating. 

"I love you too, Jim." I told him and there was not a tear in my eye. 

**FINIS**

* * *

End None Other. 


End file.
